This is our first submission on the Current State of things. I’m exceedingly grateful that Parriah offered this piece to us.
You’re probably wondering why if you’ve skimmed the title and got a brief lay of the post. The reasoning isn’t difficult. Anytime you are going to spread the word (Marketing) you need to talk to people. Talking only to people who already agree with you isn’t getting the word out, it’s visiting friends. No one is learning anything new. Parriah, from my experience with her so fa,r is young, intelligent, and thoughtful — she’s also brutally honest and doesn’t mind speaking her mind. Her website Parriah Pottymouth has quite a few articles on how she views what has been going on in our country recently. Having been out in the trenches myself this year, I can tell you it’s not very nice out there. But my focus right now is Feminism, HeForShe and taking a clear look at Where Are We At?
Since Parriah is a gracious guest and has offered this article as her honest feelings I would take it as a kindness if you could refrain from commenting rash or angry words. As Emma pointed out, that has to stop. or we might as well pack it up now. I asked for honesty from her, not smoke blowing up my ass. Yes, honesty can also be a good review, whether the review or inventory is for or against HeForShe is irrelevant, as long as the writer can read it to herself and say, “yes, that’s how I feel about this, and this is why.”
So, once again, thank you Parriah for offering your thoughts and let’s let her talk for a while
1. The name of the campaign, HeforShe.
Even the name is sexist. He-for-She implies that He is doing something For She, He is the utility or the giver.For implies the sole purpose of He is to do something, give something, or serve She. She is the taker and receiver but never returns the favor For He. This campaign is not about equality, if it was then it would not be called HeforShe. HeforShe represents another one way relationship where feminist women feel entitled to use men to get what they want.
2. Feminism insults men for years and then asks for their help.
Emma uses “WE” often in her speech, possibly referring to the campaign or UN or perhaps in hopes to inspire a desire inside of men to be part of something bigger than themselves. “WE want to end gender inequality—and to do that they need men involved”. Ironic. Third Wave Feminism has spent so much effort isolating men and casting them aside like they were useless objects, now they come begging for men to be involved in their little social movement. How is this not extremely offensive? Feminism has built a Berlin Wall between men and women, one that is impossible to tear down with a single speech. Only when communism failed did the Berlin Wall get torn down and only the death of Feminism will allow us to tear down the wall between the sexes.
3. She WANTS to USE men and boys for feminism.
Emma uses “want” in her speech so much. I want, WE want, want, want, WANT. You get the impression that she’s whining, entitled, and spoiled. There is a difference between want and need; you want cake, you need water.
“This is the first campaign of its kind at the UN: we want to try and galvanize (to get excited into action) as many men and boys as possible to be advocates for gender equality. “
Feminism will let men play their “equality” game when they are useful tools. She tells men that women want their help and therefore they must rise to the occasion and be white knights for feminism.
4. OK with man-hating, not OK with people saying feminism is about man hating
“I was appointed six months ago and the more I have spoken about feminism the more I have realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that this has to stop.” Then she quotes “For the record, feminism by definition is…” like we are children. I am so glad that Emma left the Ivy League University with the ability to read a dictionary. So wait….feminism is NOT about hating men…And I was looking at the actions of feminists instead of going by the definition of the dictionary, what an idiot I am.
5. Using personal stories just shows more gender bias.
“I started questioning gender-based assumptions when at eight I was confused at being called “bossy,” because I wanted to direct the plays we would put on for our parents—but the boys were not.” Boys are called fag, gay, homo, and other hurtful names. Emma is an example of a woman who is completely obsessed with herself. ALSO, maybe the boys were not bossy and you were bossy, which is why you got the part as Hermione who was also, bossy. “When at 14 I started being sexualized by certain elements of the press.” So was Justin Bieber, and more so than Emma Watson. “When at 15 my girlfriends started dropping out of their sports teams because they didn’t want to appear muscly.” That was their choice, it is called free will. If a woman likes to look a certain way and decides to change her lifestyle to maintain a certain look because it keeps her happy it is no one’s business but her own. “When at 18 my male friends were unable to express their feelings.”
Men do not have to express their feelings to Emma if they do not want to. They are capable of making independent decisions and she needs to learn that despite all her money she cannot control people’s feelings. Emma might think it is unusual that men do not express feelings the way she does, but that is a sign of immaturity. She does not understand that people make decisions based on what is best for their own life. What she interprets as “unable” is actually, “not wanting to express my feelings right now and please leave me alone.”
6. No empathy or understanding on how feminism hurts others
“Apparently I am among the ranks of women whose expressions are seen as too strong, too aggressive, isolating, anti-men and, unattractive.”… “Why is the word such an uncomfortable one?”
Her complete lack of awareness is what makes her so “unattractive” (I didn’t say it, she did”) A feminist’s behavior and attitudes are unattractive, their hypocrisy and crass assumptions about men (and women as well) are unattractive. Feminists are not “strong” they are cold and cruel and out of touch with reality. They enforce their views on others without any regard to others.
7. Men’s Right’s are not human rights
Then to top it off she follows it up with rights and privileges she actually has. She believes no country, even her own Britain, can women receive these rights. Western women have all of these rights. She thinks it is right that she should be “Paid the same as my male counterparts”…. “Making decisions about my own body”…. “Afforded the same respect as men.”
All of the things she listed, women in western countries are given these rights and more! The feminist statistic of 1/3 women being raped in America are false, the wage gap is false. And the worst part is, is that the “human rights’ only includes female rights but not male rights. I thought HeforShe was about equality Emma? Nope, Men’s Rights are not Human Rights.
8. She is an elitist, not an oppressed woman.
“My life is a sheer privilege because my parents didn’t love me less because I was born a daughter. My school did not limit me because I was a girl. My mentors didn’t assume I would go less far because I might give birth to a child one day.”
Thank you Emma for sacrificing your life of privilege for the oppressed masses. What a martyr. This elitist disposition towards women is disrespectful. A woman with such “privilege” should not campaign for us inferiors when her only experience of sexism is being called “bossy”. She has no NO IDEA what it like to BE an oppressed woman. How can Marie Antoinette campaign for her maid when the only thing they have in common is their gender?
9. Granting men a “formal invitation” to serve the feminist party
First, she talks about a speech in China that took place in 1997 which has no relevance to the US in 2014. How old was Emma Watson then, 3? “In 1997, Hilary Clinton made a famous speech in Beijing about women’s rights. Sadly many of the things she wanted to change are still a reality today. But what stood out for me the most was that only 30 per cent of her audience were male.” Just a reminder, feminism has pushed men out of the mainstream conversation about gender politics and built a giant “Berlin Wall” separating the sexes.
Whenever men talk about their issues they are demonized and shunned. Emma Watson then asks, “How can we affect change in the world when only half of it is invited or feel welcome to participate in the conversation? Men—I would like to take this opportunity to extend your formal invitation.” Is she joking? It was the most insensitive thing she could have said and it reflects her ignorance and inexperience. Granting them a “formal invitation” at the feminist party reflects her elitist attitude and disregard for genuine equality. In her mind does she think they (feminists and HeforShe) are superior in morality and have graciously decided to reach down from their ivory tower to bring them into the glorious light of awareness because men just don’t know any better? They will repent from their ignorance and the world will have equality YAY! What a self-sacrificing martyr Emma is to deal with such disgusting filth. But no thank you is all she is going to get. Men still have a shred of dignity and pride left.
10. Men are oppressed because women are not granted their human rights
So she lists men’s rights issues and it almost looks like she cares about real genuine equality. I have to remind myself she is an actress and she gets paid exorbitant amounts of money to pretend to care in front of audiences. And then the last sentence pulls it together, oh, men for women. Now I know that is a bunch of crap. Men are oppressed because women are not being given what they want, (I want I want I want) so if men give women what they want, again, then all the male oppression will end. Uh-Huh. It’s emotional blackmail 101.
“Because to date, I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society despite my needing his presence as a child as much as my mother’s. I’ve seen young men suffering from mental illness unable to ask for help for fear it would make them look less “macho”—in fact in the UK suicide is the biggest killer of men between 20-49; eclipsing road accidents, cancer and coronary heart disease. I’ve seen men made fragile and insecure by a distorted sense of what constitutes male success. Men don’t have the benefits of equality either.”
So in order to solve these male problems we
shouldn’t focus on fixing male problems, OH NOoo!! What we must do is get these men to stand up for women’s rights, and fix women’s made up imaginary problems like the wage gap and the 1/3 rape thing, both proven to be false. Then and only then will men’s rights will be solved as a side-effect. So basically…..
11. Feminists define masculinity and perpetuate stereotypes
If men give up what feminists consider gender stereotypes of masculinity, they will become “free” from oppression. This oppression is bondage of gender stereotypes which is what causes all oppression. What Emma fails to see is that men are not stereotypes, they are people and individuals with feelings. Feminism perpetuates sexist stereotypes.
“We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that that they are and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence. If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled.”
Emma just said men cannot freely express themselves so how are men also in control if they are being controlled by their gender stereotypes at the same time??? Emma just contradicted herself. Why can’t feminists just accept men and women as individuals with choice and free will instead of constantly trying to CONTROL and change them?
12. The LGBT Community does not exist.
“Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong. It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum not as two opposing sets of ideals. If we stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by what we are—we can all be freer and this is what HeForShe is about. It’s about freedom.”
Does the LGBT community not exist anymore? Men are gay, straight, feminine, masculine, bi, and trans. Women are also gay, straight, masculine, feminine, bi, and trans. How do we have sexuality as two opposite sets of ideals? That is not reality, Emma is living in a different reality than everyone else.
13. Men and boys are not human
“I want men to take up this mantle.” Again, with the want. Emma wants men to do something for women. It is not men’s responsibility to free strangers from imaginary gender stereotypes. It is the individuals responsibility, in this case the woman, to prove to the world that she is a capable in whatever she does in life. “So their daughters, sisters and mothers can be free from prejudice but also so that their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human too”
Men and boys are human. THEY ARE HUMAN! The fact that Emma Watson does not see men and boys as humans with feelings also goes back to why men’s rights are not human rights but women’s rights are. Men and sons have permission to be vulnerable, but they choose to display their vulnerability at appropriate times with the people they choose. “reclaim those parts of themselves they abandoned and in doing so be a more true and complete version of themselves.”
They are complete, Emma just does not like who they are and that is Emma’s problem because she is a sexist. It is not the fault of men. Putting her sexism on the shoulders of men and saying they need to change to make her feel better about her flaws is a despicable thing to do, like asking a black person to bleach his skin because you cannot get over how dark he is.
If you are a HeForShe and you got this far, you probably need to take a walk. She’s brutal. She misses some things, but she’s dead on for many as well. This is good stuff. This is where she’s at with moving forward with Equality. If our reasoning and our goals can not alter and soften this much, then we have some serious problems. Personally I don’t believe we are in trouble. She gives us, more or less, a to-do list of what education we need, what areas we need to address and what goals would be meaningful.
Woudl love to hear your comments, if they are constructive, or offer ideas. I will delete insults and hurt feelings address at our guest writer. She did more research in a few minutes for us than we could have gathered in a month. If you check out her web site, you’ll find that she’s been writing in this area for some time. These are not “off the cuff” arguments.
I look forward to your input as well.
She concluded her speech like this, “All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for enough good men and women to do nothing….If not me, who, if not now, when.” Someone has a messiah complex.